With Billy Zane as The Phantom, Kristy Swanson as the love interest, Catherine Zeta-Jones as a pirate, a great writer (Jeffery Boam), an accomplished director, and a veritable who's who of working actors from the mid nineties, there really is no reason why this shouldn't have gotten 5 stars, two thumbs up, and a mention in the morning paper. It didn't get those things, but what it did get was Billy Zane in a purple rubber suit running around on top of cars from the 1930s in the middle of downtown New York, just to grab a horse from a mounted policeman, ride through Central Park, and jump in a cage with a Bengal Tiger. Which by the way happens to be his friend, cause The Phantom is from the same jungle! Convenient I know, but that's one of the reasons I like this movie. It's got lots of action, mild romance, pirates, laser shooting skulls, airplanes, horses, and last but not least a good linear plot!
That's right I'm applauding a predictable plot line. This is the movie where it works best. No messing about with needless twists and turns, the good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and they are both introduced early enough in the film that you don't wonder why you're watching. The only twist I can actually think of is near the end, and it's only an allegiance switch on a secondary character. Not a major plot twist, but a good little side note at the end of the day.
Okay so here's where we get down to business: Did the movie Pass the Mustard? Yes, in fact I'd give a jar of spicy brown to watch this movie, it's that good.
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