Bulletproof

Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler in a cop buddy movie that's not a spoof, a rip off, or even a slack jawed comedy. It's a well written, well acted movie, with some jokes tossed in to lighten the mood. I like Damon Wayans a lot in this movie because he's not trying to be over the top funny (Homey the clown). I can't really think of anything I didn't like about this movie. Even my girlfriend liked it (once she actually started watching it).

It starts out with two criminals running from the cops, and the get away by parking it while out of sight. Then Damon Wayans who was driving calls a different cop over and asks for directions to Disney land. Next scene they are in a bar where Adam Sandler picks a fight and Damon Wayans jumps in to save him. Next thing you know Damon Wayans is picked up by two police officers and we find out that he is an undercover cop try to take down a drug lord. So to make a long story short, things go down during the bust, Sandler Shoots wayans in the head, Wayans recovers, Sandler runs, and when they finally meet up again they try to take down the Drug Lord again.

Ok, sop this movie passes mustard, and is actually one of my favourite buddy movies. If you can't rent it, I suggest you buy it from the link included here.

New Chrome App: Angry Birds review

That's right, the best iPhone and Android app has now come to the best browser. Okay all of those are subjective, but I just love this game. I've gotten 3 other people hooked on it using just a 2nd gen ipod touch and a freebie. I've played just the first level so much that no one I know has beaten my high score. And most people stop trying after an hour. I'd definitely say this one passes mustard, so pick it up for free while you still can: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/aknpkdffaafgjchaibgeefbgmgeghloj?hl=en-US

Liar Liar (1997)

Liar Liar was such a famous movie when it came out, and Jim Carrey such huge star at the time, that I'm kind of surprised that you are reading this review. No really, don't bother reading this, the movie passed mustard, even 14 years later.

Let The Bullets Fly (2010)

I am returning once again to review a Chow Yun-Fat movie. This one really showcases his acting, since he plays two roles in it. But it's not about his character as much as it is about a bandit who stole a "governor-ship", who has to deal with a 1920s gangster in a small Chinese town. I could follow the plot even with the fast sub-titles and gating Cantonese. So this time I'm not going to give a full plot synopsis, but rather just get to passing the mustard.

It definitely passed mustard. This is a great new movie, it showcases all the best parts of plot twists, and all the actors' talents. I'd say not only is it worth a watch, but several.

Hard Boiled

Chow Yun-Fat is Inspector Tequila in this action-packed romp through the seedy underbelly of Hong Kong. Ok, so it's full of guns, it's directed by a now famous director, and stars a now famous actor, in probably one of his most famous roles. Yeah I'd say this movie really did put a lot of people on the map. Making this a pretty famous movie. Well I watched it with girlfriend, as I do most action movies I review, because to be honest I never know if they are fun for anybody else. Well she didn't have fun. So I guess it's not a great movie...

Well actually it is in a different way. It's full of intrigue and plot twists, you never know exactly who's on who's side and why they are shooting at the main character. There's a lot of shooting in this movie. I timed it from when the credits roll and when they started shooting people it was under 6 minutes. This has got to be one of the more violent of the movies I've reviewed so far, in fact my girlfriend said it was too loud because of all the gunshots. Oh well.

I'd say this passed mustard, but only for action movie lovers. Maybe gun nuts, and Chow Yun-Fat fans would like it too, I wouldn't know anything about that. If you want to watch it with a friend, make sure they have an idea of what they are watching before going 3 hours of gunplay and soft talking with bad voice over.

Once Upon A Time in China

Now I'm going to try to review all 6 of these movies at once, since I watched all 6 in a row. Why? Because I just happen to have that kind of time, that's why. I'll admit it took me a couple days to do it though, even I can't sit through 12 hours of kung fu movies without getting a little antsy. And yes these are definitely kung fu movies, don't let anyone try and tell you different. You can tell because the secondary characters are not well thought out, and the romance leaves much to be desired. I do like that it is a continuous plot throughout these movies, and Jet Li seems to suit this role quite well. I also like that the setting changes occasionally, on the even numbered movies it seemed. Oh I should point out that this series is almost entirely about Wong Fei Hung, a big folk hero in China from about the same time as the "Wild West" for us North Americans. That sticks it in the late 1800s, which considering my family history, isn't that long ago. Long enough though.

Any way our hero Wong Fei Hung, played by Jet Li, is an army trainer, a doctor, a martial arts expert, and a peace-maker. He is essentially the perfect Chinese hero, well-learned, well-meaning, flexible, and good at kung fu. All the things I'm not, barring the well-meaning part.So we follow along with him while his city falls apart from gangsters, his country falls apart from foreigners, and his life falls apart when he falls in love with his "aunt", which is actually his cousin, but only by marriage, and not hers. I guess you have to watch the first movie a couple times to get that one straight, because the first time I just didn't get it.

The rest of the movies are quite similar, but don't generally follow the same plot as the first movie. I'd say all in all though that each of these pass mustard in their own right, but the first 3 are my favourites!

Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011)

A High Cost New York Real Estate purchaser is sent a Gentoo Penguin by his dead father. Hilarity ensues! I went to see it in theatre, and loved every minute of it, even though I laughed at times when no one else was laughing. There were quite a few bits that tickled me, like the assistant with a thing for words that start with 'P', and the penguin that dreams of flying. Many little touches that just brought the whole movie together. I'd say that this is a good rental, a good purchase, and even a nice movie to go see. It is a family movie, and if you want to compare it to other Jim Carrey movies, think Liar Liar without the sex and Penguins thrown in.

I'd say this definitely passes mustard. Ranked as Honey Mustard, cause it just such a sweet movie!

Sidekicks (1992)

Chuck Norris and the guy who played Lucas on SeaQuest DSV. Definitely a winning combination, but while I was trying to watch this with my girlfriend, she mentioned a few things to me. First, she said that the dream sequences were a little out there, and I agree with her on that one. Second she said that it followed the plot line of Karate Kid a little too closely. Now I do agree that this is a Karate Kid type movie, where the plot follows this formula: Boy is sad, boy finds bad martial arts expert, good martial arts expert finds boy, boy beats up bad martial arts expert's students. In fact I've seen a dozen Kung Fu and Jackie Chan movies with this same formula. in fact I call all of those Karate Kid type movies, just because that's the most famous one. However I have to say that this is one of my favourites in the whole genre.

It starts off in a dream, so don't let that bother you, and then it progresses so that you find out that this kid Barry (You know, Jonathan Brandis who played Lucas on SeaQuest DSV) is a dreamer with asthma who is picked on because he daydreams about Chuck Norris. Yes that's right Chuck Norris. He was huge in 1992! One of the most famous action heroes of all time, and that was before he became "Walker, Texas Ranger" on TV. In fact I think this movie helped springboard his career from being "Chuck Norris, the action hero" to "Chuck Norris THE Chuck Norris". Actually, that's one of the lines in the movie: "Chuck Norris? THE Chuck Norris? Lady I don't think that Chuck Norris is going to be your fourth teammate just because you wrote down his name on this form." And Chuck Norris says: "Why? Do you have a problem with that, Sonny?" Anyway that's near the end of the movie during the "boy beats students" section of the Karate Kid Type Movie. There's a bunch of stuff in the middle where an older Chinese man (who happens to be Barry's teacher's uncle) tells Barry some profound things, and teaches Barry karate. Also there's a couple love stories thrown in, where Winni from Wonder Years like Barry, and Barry likes Winni from Wonder Years, oh and Barry's dad (Beau Bridges) like Barry's teacher and vice versa.

Ok, third paragraph, you know what that means? It means I tell you whether or not Sidekicks passes or fails. I loved it both now and when I first watched it in 1992, and I think this movie Passed Mustard. It's got Chuck Norris as Chuck Norris, it has to pass, but if I were to rank it though, I'd only give it Prepared Mustard considering that my girlfriend didn't like it, and it's quite predictable.

The Phantom (1996)

With Billy Zane as The Phantom, Kristy Swanson as the love interest, Catherine Zeta-Jones as a pirate, a great writer (Jeffery Boam), an accomplished director, and a veritable who's who of working actors from the mid nineties, there really is no reason why this shouldn't have gotten 5 stars, two thumbs up, and a mention in the morning paper. It didn't get those things, but what it did get was Billy Zane in a purple rubber suit running around on top of cars from the 1930s in the middle of downtown New York, just to grab a horse from a mounted policeman, ride through Central Park, and jump in a cage with a Bengal Tiger. Which by the way happens to be his friend, cause The Phantom is from the same jungle! Convenient I know, but that's one of the reasons I like this movie. It's got lots of action, mild romance, pirates, laser shooting skulls, airplanes, horses, and last but not least a good linear plot!

That's right I'm applauding a predictable plot line. This is the movie where it works best. No messing about with needless twists and turns, the good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and they are both introduced early enough in the film that you don't wonder why you're watching. The only twist I can actually think of is near the end, and it's only an allegiance switch on a secondary character. Not a major plot twist, but a good little side note at the end of the day.

Okay so here's where we get down to business: Did the movie Pass the Mustard? Yes, in fact I'd give a jar of spicy brown to watch this movie, it's that good.

Bridesmaids (2011)

I got dragged to what I originally thought was a chick flick by my girlfriend. I was surprised that she wanted to see it cause normally she only watches action or comedy movies. Turns out I was wrong this is a pretty funny comedy movie, with a bit of a sad story thrown in. Many parts of this reminds me of many of the "guy" movies I've watched over the years, and still others remind me of 27 dresses and a few other "girl" movies I've seen. I wasn't rolling in the aisles laughing, but mostly because I'm not a big fan of awkward comedy. And there's a lot of that chest wrenching stupidly awkwardness that I just don't like. On one occasion I was actually groaning, because it was a Frasier level of situational awkwardness. However that one scene doesn't condemn the whole movie, especially with the love story, the "best friend" story, and the betrayal story rolled in. I'd say this movie Passes Mustard, but wait till you can get it cheap.

The Ice Pirates (1984)

Well if you know me, you know the types of movies I like to watch. This is a B-Movie about pirates in space, so of course I had to watch it. You may recognize a few familiar faces, like Ron Perlman, Anjelica Huston, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, and Bruce Vilanche. Then again you may never have heard of any of these people, but believe me when I say most of them are good actors (except Bruce Vilanche). I’m not going to bore you with a long winded plot synopsis, so I’ll try my hand at a short one. There’s pirates in space who steal ice because that’s how the “Templars” ship water. Ice is important because all other sources of water are dried up. There’s a mythical planet called “The Seventh Planet” that has enough water for the whole galaxy. Ok, now I know that this back story is complete bollocks, but it’s all we have so stay with us.

Now I found this movie quite light-hearted and fun, with many of the same elements that made star wars 4-6 and stargate sg-1 fun. It even had a little bit of a Mel Brooks scene in it where the two protagonists are supposed to have been “Lobotamized” or castrated but weren’t and they had to talk in high squeaky voices or they’d give themselves away. Near the end there’s a campy time dilation fight sequence where all the main characters get older and older very quickly. I was laughing at that and at the way Bruce Vilanche’s head kept getting carried around by his hair. All in all I’d say this movie passed mustard. If you can’t find it to buy, at least rent it.

The Age of Dragons (2011)

It's Moby Dick, with dragons instead of whales, and a love story thrown
in for good measure. I've seen many renditions of Moby Dick before,
from an abridged Reader's Digest version to an illustrated children's
book. From The Simpsons to a one man play at The Royal George Theatre
in Niagara on the Lake. I haven't liked them all, and I certainly can't
say I've enjoyed them all, but I can say that this is a bold new take on
this classic whaling tale. They've kept the character's names the same,
only changing Moby Dick's moniker "The Great White Whale" to "The Great
White Dragon", since now all whales are dragons. And Ahab's daughter as
a first mate is something I just don't remember in the old story.

The ship is a great lumbering beast of an armoured waggon, that runs on
the "vitriol" (am I spelling this right?) or flame juice that the
dragons use to spit fire. In it's purest form it explodes with contact
to air. It's a fine replacement for whale oil in the plot line. But
the addition (so I think) of Ahab's daughter just didn't do anything at
all for me. It seems the only reason they stuck her in there was so we
could have a teary moment near the end of the film. I do however like
how closely Ahab's plot line carries through, and I especially like the
job Danny Glover did playing him.

I think that even through all the flaws, the portrayal of the Moby Dick
story is strong enough to warrant this film to pass mustard!