Well if you know me, you know the types of movies I like to watch. This is a B-Movie about pirates in space, so of course I had to watch it. You may recognize a few familiar faces, like Ron Perlman, Anjelica Huston, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, and Bruce Vilanche. Then again you may never have heard of any of these people, but believe me when I say most of them are good actors (except Bruce Vilanche). I’m not going to bore you with a long winded plot synopsis, so I’ll try my hand at a short one. There’s pirates in space who steal ice because that’s how the “Templars” ship water. Ice is important because all other sources of water are dried up. There’s a mythical planet called “The Seventh Planet” that has enough water for the whole galaxy. Ok, now I know that this back story is complete bollocks, but it’s all we have so stay with us.
Now I found this movie quite light-hearted and fun, with many of the same elements that made star wars 4-6 and stargate sg-1 fun. It even had a little bit of a Mel Brooks scene in it where the two protagonists are supposed to have been “Lobotamized” or castrated but weren’t and they had to talk in high squeaky voices or they’d give themselves away. Near the end there’s a campy time dilation fight sequence where all the main characters get older and older very quickly. I was laughing at that and at the way Bruce Vilanche’s head kept getting carried around by his hair. All in all I’d say this movie passed mustard. If you can’t find it to buy, at least rent it.
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